The Habit of Friendship

“Hi mom.” They say as they make their way towards us in a line.

They are all elbows and knees and the sweetest of pajamas and the sleepiest of hair.

With half mooned eyes, they step over pizza boxes and suitcases, coolers and endless pairs of flip flops.

Kayli leans her tall frame into mine; I breathe in her warmth.

Beside us, her friends perform this age old morning ritual with their own mothers. Arms wrap around waists, heads rest upon chests, lips brush against foreheads.

We’re away for the weekend as mothers and daughters and two generations of heart keeper friends.

About two minutes before half of these girls got quite wet for fully dressed.

Several years ago we introduced ourselves to each other in the hopes of forming friendships for our newly minted school age girls.

We shook hands and raised cheeks and crossed fingers that these friendships would stick, sweetening and softening and lighting up these school years.

And they do, for all of us.

Because as we placed them side by side in activities and classes and play dates and sleepovers, we took the time to see that same kind of light in each other.

Team Badzin-Breen

Several weeks ago, I took this same kind of a chance on a new friend.

“Let’s get together!” I wrote to the lovely Nina Badzin, whom I only knew from her straight forward, quick witted, and ridiculously astute writing.

And she, took a chance on me.

We met and hugged and talked nonstop, our words tumbling over our thoughts.

We introduced our husbands and our children, carving out the time in our day and the space in our hearts for a new friendship.

Ohmyheart – no caption necessary.

I sit by Kayli on our driveway, the sun beating down our backs, our bags by our sides – a physical splay of the fun that we had away, and the work that it’ll take to come back.

“What was your favorite part?” I ask, wondering if it was skipping rocks or the big ships or painting nails or the tongue-color-changing cherry slurpees, but hedging my bets on the late night at the water park.

She runs her painted fingertips against the rough, warm ground, shades her eyes, stretches her legs, crosses her bare feet at the ankle. We mirror each other.

“Just being together.” She finally says.

“Me, too.” I say back, not hiding my smile.

And if there’s one shiny gem that I can gently wrap and place in her heart to hold onto about friendship, as she grows and changes and finds her own way, it’s just this.

Be grateful for time together, and be open to new friends, always.

My friend Nina wrote a stunner of an article about what makes people click. What makes you fall for a friend? Is it magic or science?

***

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Comments

  1. This post makes me happy. My husband and I were just talking about how it can be difficult to make friends “at our age”, and this is a reminder that sometimes a little effort is so worth the payoff.

  2. I’m jealous of Nina, that is all. :)

  3. What a great post. I too take carve out time for each of my girls, separately. It’s important for the one-on-one connect.

  4. Love this post. It is so important to carve time out that time, for friendships, children, and spouses.

    And being open? So important.

  5. This is so beautiful…
    I love how you have taken the impossibly intangible notion of bonds, connections, and tiny “big” moments and captured them just so- making it all so perfectly tangible, and possible, and beautiful.
    I enjoyed reading this!

  6. I love this! My mother was my friend, too, and I can only hope and pray that I’ll be as good a friend to her.

  7. Love it! We did tumble over thoughts and words, didn’t we? 😉

  8. That’s a pretty good favorite part.

  9. So perfect.

  10. I love this post, and I’m so happy that you both were open enough to allow for a new friendship!

  11. I love this post because there is something so magical when two people click. When they almost immediately feel like it was always meant to be that they were in each others’ lives. I LOVE that feeling. I’m glad you found it in Nina (and I’m also a little jealous) and I think you would be a fabulous friend to carve out time for. :)

  12. I love that you both took a chance. I think that is when you just know that it is going to be worth it. If it isn’t you just talk about making plans without actually doing so.

  13. How fun is all of this?! I especially love the chalk messages. What a wonderful kiddo and a lucky Mommy :)

  14. Beautiful Galit. Your smile and thoughts here take my breath away. I love you, my friend. xo

  15. Friendship is the best thing in life next to children. I don’t know what I would do without my girlfriends.

    And I just love the way you write about it. I think I told you before…your writing envelopes and warms me just like the coziest of blankets. Always.

  16. I’m so glad you had a wonderful trip. It’s a neat idea – especially the part with multiple daughters to amuse each other!

  17. You said so much in so few words, and you did it so beautifully. I love Nina’s writing, and I’m glad I’ve found yours as well.

  18. Sounds amazing. It’s been hard for me to be away from my friends since moving across the country – social media (believe it or not) makes it a little bit easier, but I can’t wait to go “home” for a visit this weekend and spend long leisurely hours sipping coffee (or wine) and talking to the women who know me the best of all.

  19. This makes me heart happy for you.

  20. Galit, this is perfection.

  21. This is my favorite, ” two generations of heart keeper friends.” oh how i love how you capture moments. I am always jealous of friendships that are able to click like that, they are very rare but amazing when they happen.

  22. I told her you would do this in your way, on your time, and that it would be sparkly and filled with gems and heartstrings. So glad you took a chance on each other and clicked. Magic? Science? I just say, I’m so happy for both of you. Beshert. 😉

  23. I’m so glad you have such an open, warm and welcoming heart which is now filled with a new friend and new memories.

  24. I love this post Galit! I think that falling for a friend is magic – magic in the bringing of people together and that magic feeling you have when it clicks and you know it.

  25. How beautiful. Your words and pictures weave together such a loving story.

  26. I have always made friends a priority – even when boyfriends turned into husbands and new babies took over homes. Not on purpose of course – without really thinking about it, I just always made time for my friends. And it was the smartest (unintentional) move I could have made. Now is when things get complicated – sometimes even scary, and I honestly don’t know how I’d do it without these people…

    Loved reading this!

  27. Heart keeper friends are the best kind. A lovely post.

    Nina pointed me in your direction. Pleased to meet you.

  28. I love the photos. Cheers to new friends!

  29. Magic, is what. The science helps you find your way to the neighborhood, but THAT friend, is all magic.

  30. Leighann says:

    So wonderful that you teach your children about friendship and the importance of caring for the friendship.

  31. I think it’s really important to teach our kids the essence of friendship. To learn how to trust and love other people. I think that is really a wonderful idea of having your kids bond once in a while. That will really help them in establishing a good relationship between the other kids.

  32. Lovely to read the other perspective of Nina Badzin’s post…and such a precious moment shared with your daughter! As an aunt, it’s easy to think of all the entertaining stuff to do with kids, so this is a great reminder that sometimes the simple things mean more :)

  33. Your moments are always so beautiful and touching. And the last line? Oh, my, yes.

  34. What a fun, memory making time for the two of you! And cheers to reaching out and making new friends!

  35. How fun to read the other side of the story from Nina’s blog! I think there is something amazing that happens when it’s not only the adults, but the children who click, too. Everyone gets to have a relaxed and easy, good time. Maybe for other people that happens a lot, but for me, I cherish the friends whose children are friends with my children (all three of them!)

  36. Oh I love this, Galit. But then again, I love everything about you and your blog!

    There really is nothing like a friendship to make you feel comfortable and put you at ease, it’s the best of feelings.

  37. So fun to see your companion piece to Nina’s blog, here, Galit. Your writing is beautiful! The trip with the girls sounds heavenly and unforgettable.

  38. Beautiful post.

  39. Adorable, beautiful post. I’m so glad to find a blog that I can come back to and look forward to reading. (:

  40. I’ve been largely absent from the blog world for most of July and am just now trying to catch up.

    Kind of.

    Some posts I’m simply going to have to chalk up to “missed reads” but I’m so glad I picked this one (and Nina’s) among the few to be certain to get to…

    And I wish wish wish I lived nearer to the two of you.
    I’d be willing to drive 40 minutes to hang out with you and your many many children.

    No matter what kind of shoes you were wearing 😉

    XO

  41. Be grateful for time together and be open to new friendships. Absolutely love it and sooooo true. I’m missing you this summer! It’s hard to get around to the people I love, what with endless summer days (even though I’m loving them).

  42. Sara Kenefick says:

    Beautiful sentiments Galit! Soo important to keep in touch with old friends but to also make room for new friends :-)

  43. Magic, definitely. A soul like yours doesn’t hurt.

  44. Old friends and new, totally amazing to have both. I love this group that your kids have had and that the friendships have lasted. So very precious.