Ohmyheart, Kindness Wins Is a @TEDx Talk!

I wrote a really meaty free 8 day e-course about how to keep your kids + students safe online.

Join me!

There’s a reason why we can’t bully proof our kids and there’s an essential way to discuss cyberbullying with kids. This TEDx talk clarifies how to do this.

Exactly one year ago today, on my 39th birthday, I told you guys about writing Kindness Wins, about going against my own grain and not shutting down when hurt, but instead being brave and doing something about it. I called it my lemons-to-lemonade moment. And you know what? I thought that with that, I was all done being brave. But 39 turned out to be a year of me stepping out of my comfort zone, finding my brave, and seeing what happens when we let people in and lean on them.

This is what I learned when I did these things.

Our very best is just outside of our comfort zones.

There are so many good people out there.

Vulnerability brings us closer together.

We are bettered when we story tell, and when we story listen.

This fall, my lovely friend Leslie asked me if I had ever considered turning my story into a TEDx talk. I said, no, but I would. Because lets face it, considering is safe, it’s doing that’s heart-fluttery brave, and she wasn’t asking me to do anything (yet). I didn’t consider this again until she reached out to me a second time, many months later, and said two things: my talk had been chosen and was I in?

Spoiler alert: Leslie and and I at TEDx.

I’d like to tell you that my answer was obvious, because bravery makes for good story telling.

But it wasn’t obvious to me. The bravery and vulnerability it takes for an introvert like me to tell my story is tremendous. But no one in my life was having any of that and because of their help I was in and this fall I gave my talk.

Incidentally, people lifting others up also make for good story telling.

This October, I told a room full of people how I went from being a mom and a blogger and a writer to someone who wakes her husband up in the middle of the night to discuss online kindness.

How devastated I was when I saw people calling me fat and a heifer online.

How hard I had to work to claw my way out of the depression that I sank into when this happened.

How much goodness I saw in our world when I did claw my way out and called for more kindness online.

How, just when things were looking up, my own tween decided that she would like to be online.

And how in that moment, looking into her tween eyes, but seeing her baby eyes look back at me, it didn’t matter how much goodness I had seen, all I wanted to do was protect her.

One of these two slides did not make it into the video. It was the one that makes me teary and it was on the big screen at right about 10:01.

But it was that want to take care of her, and others like her, that gave me the push that I needed to do what I’m doing. How full circle is that? It was others taking care of me that got me to the cusp, and the want to take care of others that helped me dive in. It always comes down to how we take care of each other, doesn’t it?

I am SO PROUD of this TEDx talk and I am sharing it with you today, on my 40th birthday, because you know what?

I am also so proud of 40.

And I am proud of hard-earned brave.

It feels more vulnerable to share this with you than it did to share it on stage, because you are my people. But I’m going to click publish in a second without apology for how raw and sensitive and porous and introverted I am. That is YOUR gift to ME.

You gave this to me by letting me bear witness to your stories and by listening to mine and teaching me that my voice was worth using and that it only takes one to make a difference. Thank you for that. I am forever grateful to you for it and for this.

My TEDx talk can be found right here. It would mean everything to me if you’d click over, hit the thumbs up button, and share it with parents, teachers, principals, counselors, youth group and scout leaders—anyone you know who is in contact with school-age kids. They’re the ones who hold the missing piece between an iffy internet and a kind one. So lets arm them with the same gifts that we give each other.

P.S. I told a friend yesterday how excited I am feeling about turning 40. Her response? Get ready to love owning your shit. Can I get an amen for that?

P.P.S. You guys, I can’t even count how many people were my lift in preparing for this talk. Mary, Melissa, and Sue, who told me that it would be lame + not a choice to not do it. Jason, who gave me speech feedback (so brave for a husband, no?). Josh, who’s feedback was stick-to-your-ribs good. Leslie who believed in women building women up. Cheryl who believed in my story. Bruce who didn’t blink once (**through the screen) at how many times I emailed him about my slides. And Julie who breathed with me and grounded me before I walked on stage. (**Having met me less than two weeks earlier.) #ItsABeautifulLife #KindnessWins