My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friends

Lifelines

Lifelines

The topic of friendship fascinates me. Through the years I’ve learned what lifelines friends can truly be, but I’ve also (humbly) learned how to let go of friendships that aren’t working and how, sometimes, I’ve let go too swiftly.

Six months ago, I was thrilled when editors Jessica Smock and Stephanie Spengler published an incredible work of heart titled, The HerStories PROJECT: Women Explore the Joy, Pain, and Power of Female Friendship which included an essay I wrote that I was ridiculously proud of.

Women devoured and gifted the book in droves and many wrote to Smock and Spengler sharing their own friendship stories. What the editors quickly learned is that the topic of friendship breakups was hot, and that their work with it wasn’t done yet.

Smock wrote, “Stephanie and I found that we couldn’t stop thinking about this aspect of friendship: Why is it so painful for a friendship to end and why is it so hard for women to talk about? Again and again, other women — friends, readers, relatives, acquaintances —  have told us stories of their own friendship breakups and dissolutions.  In their stories, we heard their pain, their shame, their confusion, and their continued sense of deep loss.”

So this duo did the only thing there was to do: They created another book, this time focusing on the bold topic of friendship breakups.

my other ex cover image

I’m beyond thrilled to have an essay included in this daring look at friendship titled, My Other Ex: Women’s True Stories of Leaving and Losing Friendships. While my essay in Smock and Spengler’s first book was easy to love writing, focusing on my conscious effort to upkeep friendships as an adult, this one was harder for me to write, submit, and own.

It starts in the only place I could think of: At the end of the most defining friendship breakup I’ve ever had and, for the first time, explores the humbling learning curve that came with understanding my own role in abandoning that friendship.

My Other Ex includes an introduction by Nicole Knepper of the wildly popular blog, Moms Who Drink and Swear, who is also a licensed mental health counselor with years of experience and expertise in understanding human relationships. And cover-to-cover, each of the book’s 35 essays thread together to tell the tale of friendship breakups — some have happy endings and many, like mine, don’t.

my-other-ex-contributers

Smock says, “There are so many ways that friendships can end, and our book describes 35 of them, from each of our 35 contributors. At the heart of each essay is the recognition from each writer that she has lost something very real and very personal, a connection that will never be forgotten.”

I’m over the moon to be a part of this gutsy, bravely written book and I’m thrilled to announce that it’s officially available today!

The intricacies of female friendship is such an important conversation, thank you (so much) for being a part of it with me.

Have you had a friendship breakup? How do you feel about it today?

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Comments

  1. I am so proud of you, and honored to stand beside you in this book. xoxo

  2. Congrats my friend!

  3. Though we have never met, I feel as if I know you through the truth in your writing. Like Alison, I, too, am thrilled to have my friendship story included in this book along with yours.

    • Thank you, you, truly. And, my goodness, how that feeling is so very mutual! Congrats on pre-order day! (One of) the most wonderful days of the year, yes?

  4. Congratulations! So happy for you!

  5. Wow, Galit…that is all sorts of awesome! I have had a few of these, and still ponder them years later. Like an open wound that I am not sure will ever completely heal. I can’t wait to read the book, and especially your essay. xoxo

  6. What an amazing book and topic to share with the world. Every woman has a story of this magnitude, and I can’t wait to read yours and the other fabulous authors of this book!! CONGRATS Galit! I can only assume, your contribution is both powerful and inspiring!! XO

  7. Congratulations for being a part of this anthology! I also am fascinated by relationships between women. For me it’s because I never had sisters, and it amazes me how linked two women can be even if not related by blood. I will be pre-ordering my copy!

  8. Congratulations, Galit! So amazing. And I very important and sensitive topic. I’m looking forward to reading it. I need some guidance on this subject. xoxo.

  9. I only had a couple of friends as a kid, so I value friendship above nearly everything. I have only lost two friends. One of them came back. Sort of. The other? It’s gone. And it still causes me helpless tears. Anyway, I preordered without thinking twice. It’s good to know others are in the same place.

  10. Pre-ordered! Looking forward to it, even while knowing it will be a painful read at times. I still haven’t let go of losing a friendship more than 10 years ago. I was left in friend purgatory — no explanation, no accusation or apology. Just nothingness. Amazing how it can still ache, despite all the joy and fulfilling friendships in my life today!

  11. What a great idea for a book of essays. It’s not something we women usually talk about but I never thought about that until now. I have a couple of friendships that fell apart and those experiences really shaped how I approach new friendships to this day (30 years later!). Looking forward to reading it!

  12. Your work comes exactly when I needed it most. For a quarter of my life I was half of an incredible friendship. Then, over night, I was shut out without a word. Children raised together from birth were no longer allowed to speak to one another and families who moved easily between homes sharing everything were divided. I was told this was all my fault but never told why. Almost a year later, my best friend reached out to me and I felt nothing. I’ve been trying to process it through writing ever since it happened but didn’t think anyone would understand. I look forward to seeing how others have coped.

  13. Congratulations! Preordered and I’m looking forward to reading.

  14. I have had a friendship breakup and I’m nowhere near brave enough to write about it.
    So I’m proud of you and excited for this project.

    Some of my very favorite people are in here writing their hearts out.

    Congratulations, Galit.
    The world is yours, these days :-)

  15. Congratulations!! I have been hearing about this book and absolutely cannot wait to read it. I’ve had my share of broken friendships. Some have been repaired, some have not, but they are such a tough thing to work through. I cannot wait to read your words here.

  16. We were so honored to have your essay included in this book– and the first one, too!– it is so powerful and beautifully honest. Thanks for all your support with spreading the word!

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