Buying Worries

I’ve been buying worries for eight years now.

I worried when you didn’t sleep,

Or settle,

Or walk,

When I thought that you would.

Bouldering

I worried when you warmed slowly.

And played carefully.

And loved thoughtfully.

All dressed up to go out for pizza.

I worried when you watched from the side.

Then, I worried when you joined in.

I worried when you laughed and cried and angered.

Then, I worried when you didn’t.

Because that’s how worries flow with first borns – plentifully.

I have no words for this much fun.

I worried when your fingers loosened their grip with mine.

And when you questioned me.

And when you planted your feet firmly, chin tilted, eyes set – in a stance and gaze and way that matched my own.

Even then, I worried.

But as it turns out, I needn’t have worried quite so much.

You’ve turned into the kind of girl whose perfect birthday was equal parts

Adventure,

Glitter,

And laughter.

Shared with the sweetest of friends,

Every step of the way.

I whisper these loosened-for-now worries ever so quietly, but still, I do loosen their hold.

Because your shine is bright, and its reach is far.

Hold your sparkle close, sweet girl, it will serve you well.

Happy 8th birthday Kayli, my glitteriest star!

iPhone Photo Phun

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Comments

  1. Happy happy. So beautiful, as always, your words, emotions and the shine. Love the shine.

  2. Lynda M O says:

    Love eight year old girls with every fiber of my being; they turn into nine year olds so soon.

  3. Oh love this beautiful love letter to Kayli!! Happy 8th sweetie!

  4. Oh How I love this so much! My youngest is turning 8 on Friday! WOW! Worry should be my middle name! Yet, I know that God has amazing things in store for my girls as he does your daughter. What a blessing for her to be healthy and smiling on her 8th birthday! Happy birthday Kayli here’s to many more with as much glitter and girl-time as you can stand!:)

  5. Galit – Beautiful words. You have done an amazing job as a mom and it’s reflected in your words. She’s beautiful. Love, love the feet picture!

  6. Kayli, you’re a beautiful girl!
    Happy 8th Birthday to you!
    Your Mom’s Friend, m.

  7. Happy Birthday beautiful girl! You’re doing a great job Mama!

  8. Sparkle. Shine. Happy Birthday to your very big girl. xo

  9. Oh, the ache of that worry with your first born. I felt it deeply, there in your words.

    Happy, Wonderful Birthday to your darling girl. Your tribute was just splendid.

  10. This is so sweet and beautiful! Happy 8th birthday to your glittery Kayli!

  11. What a wonderful way to celebrate her 8th!

  12. Your shine is bright and your reach is far…amazing line.
    I think the worry comes in the contract of parenting ;)

  13. Beautiful!!

  14. I love it!

  15. Happy Happy Birthday! She’s beautiful as are your words. The worries are endless. I wonder if they will always be?

  16. Happy Birthday to the one who made you a mom! Let her glitter reach far (as it really does, right? in all the little cracks of the house, making you smile.)

  17. Happy Birthday! She is adorable and this post made me cry. My Little Flower just turned a year old and I know how fast it flies… I have boys that are 14 & 11. How you write speaks directly to the heart. I hope I will be able to write to my daughter this way in the future.

  18. My firstborn just turned 19.
    I STILL worry.
    Happy Birthday to yours! =)

  19. Sweet girl! Happy birthday..and your picture is absolutely adorable!

  20. Life As Wife says:

    It is funny how with each passing year and each milestone, new worries appear.

    I’m glad each of your worries have faded. Gives me hope!

  21. Best line I may have ever read – SO true: Because that’s how worries flow with first borns – plentifully.

    If I knew with my first what I do with my second . . .

    Great post, Galit.

  22. We never stop worrying, do we? No matter what is going on.

  23. 8! wow 8!!!! You are so beautiful little girl, inside and out. May you whole year be filled with glitter, balloons and happiness, days made for the Princess you are!

  24. Hope it’s a great birthday celebration, or was. We do so much worrying, I’m not sure why b/c it doesn’t accomplish anything positive.
    Love the gap toothed smile.

  25. My eldest daughter turns nine this year and I know every single one of these fears. I also know that every good girl party includes glitter :)

  26. Oh my gosh… adorable! That first picture is cute squared.

    Happy BIRTHDAY! :D

  27. Happy 8th to Kayli! Love all the pictures. I totally understand all those worries – I don’t think they’ll ever end, but I find that I’ve started worrying more about my second girl than my first these days :)

  28. She looks so much like you. There are no words to describe little girl fun. I will be hosting my own 8 year old girl party this summer. (Music by Katy Perry).

  29. Oh this was perfect. I don’t think we’ll ever stop worrying.
    Happy birthday to Kayli and happy birthing day to you!

  30. I always leave your blog with a smile on my face. Thanks. :-)

  31. Are you kidding me with that top picture in the hat?
    Well, ARE YOU?!?

    Holy cow how could you NOT worry about such a perfect little creature.

    I must admit to so many nights lying awake, creating fears that needn’t have existed.
    I think that’s the price we pay for being a mother.

    Buying worries. Yes.
    Because there is nothing more valuable than our love.

    Hope her day (and yours) was very special.

  32. Ah, parenthood… it’s a constant state of something, isn’t it?

    Happy, happy to your lovely firstborn, Galit!

  33. Happy, happy, happy birthday to your beautiful girl! What a fun celebration she had.

    We mamas do find a way to worry about everything, don’t we? Part of me hopes that all that worrying is a kind of insurance, even though I know it’s not. But it’s so nice to know that I’m not alone in this. xo

  34. Happy happy day!

    And the worry with first borns is, indeed, plentiful.

  35. Oh Galit, those first borns and those new mother fears, you have encapsulated those emotions so well! Happy eighth birthday Kayli!

  36. Omigosh.

    Just wait until twelve.

    Oy vey.

    Talk about bouldering…

    (That was probably not helpful.) ;-)

    Enjoy your wonderful, beautiful, glittery daughter.

  37. What a wonderful tribute to your birthday girl. Beautiful writing as always, my sweet friend!

  38. I think as a mother if we didn’t worry we would go nuts. It is ingrained in us to worry, that is what makes us mothers. But even greater still is our ability to let it go and realize some things we cannot change because that is just life. She is beautiful and Happy Birthday to her

  39. This is nice… she is SO beautiful :) You can just count them as worry dollars and when she grows up tell her she owes you a million dollars and that if she can’t pay it she has to pay it in hugs.

  40. Motherhood is filled with worry! Happy birthday to her! ;) i loved that picture of the indescribable fun.

  41. Happy birthday to your daughter! She is adorable..

  42. Oh how I live this. I worry, worry, worry. I’m not sure I’ll ever stop.

  43. Happy birthday to your wonderful (big) girl! What a special day for you all.

  44. Happy Belated Birthday to your beautiful, shining star! What joyous pictures! Kayli shares the same birthday with my husband :-)

  45. Happy Birthday Kayli!

    And momma enjoy 8, I do believe it is one of those perfect ages.

    Oh and she is glorious despite all your worries!

  46. Happy Mummiversary to you too! You have me all misty reading this.
    Happy birthday to your girlie.

  47. The girls all together is so stinkin’ cute! I honestly cannot wait for those times with K someday (well, I can wait, but you know what i mean!)

    Happy Birthday to her, she’s just beautiful, Galit!

    p.s. Holy Moly our kids’ b-day ARE close!! :-D

  48. “are” so stinkin’ cute… gah.

  49. Beautiful and well written on how much we as parents worry about our kids. I keep hoping the older my daughter gets the less I will worry, but I doubt that will happen. It will just be new worries I will embrace.

  50. Do we ever stop worrying? Sigh. This was beautiful. Happy birthday to your wonderful little girl!

  51. What a beautiful daughter. As parents, we do a lot of worrying, don’t we?

  52. I love that: “hold your sparkle close”. I don’t think the worrying will ever stop…it will just be about new things. But I also think our worrying actually helps shape them into who they are. Don’t you?

  53. Happy 8th birthday to your beautiful daughter! Worrying seems to b e a right of passage for motherhood!

  54. Happy Birthday to beautiful Kayli! May you enjoy many, many special, sparkly days in your life. xoxo

  55. My birthday is the 3rd, too. She is sure to be an awesome person. :)

    Happy Birthday to your 8 year old!

  56. I love this. I know I felt this way about my first born who’s now 18…and getting ready to graduate. And as I first born myself, I know this is how my parents felt about me. As a more sensitive child, I think all their caution accentuated my own cautiousness. I’ve friend so hard not to be that way with my children. But it’s hard. Kayli is beautiful and I know she had a wonderful birthday.

  57. This makes me want to clap my hands in delight. My daughter is 8 too and I have all the same worries. *sigh*

  58. ah yes…the first born worries…
    and yet she’s grown into a lovely young lady…
    Happy Birthday!

  59. Mamas worry because they love so much. Happy Birthday to your precious oldest!

  60. Oh my stars. I loved every single word and image. Happy birthday to your gorgeous daughter!

  61. Love it!!! The bdays are so close together. We have that in our house too (#2 and #4). This November will be my first time dealing the two bdays just days apart. Just these posts alone show how well you did making each birthday special.

  62. Oh, happy birthday, sweet girl!

    And congratulations, Mama, for raising your beautiful girl while keeping those worries tucked away. It’s such a tough job.

    xx

  63. Aw, Happy Birthday to your glittery girl!!

  64. First off – She is BEAUTIFUL!! Soak her up! :)

    Second – I am bawling my head off about now. Your words are beautiful and now that my oldest is nearly finished with her first year of college, I would give anything for that 8 year old birthday again.

    Third – Happy Birthday to your glitteriest star! :)

  65. This is so beautifully written, it brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for a sliver of hope that I might be able to loosen the worries a bit some day. And happy birthday to your daughter. She is a beautiful girl. :)

  66. Happy birthday to your daughter. I hope she always keeps her sparkle.

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